


Chairman of the Bored

by Thebigflip



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Funny, No Romance, Other, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 23:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6928807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebigflip/pseuds/Thebigflip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John brings everyone together to watch one of his favorite movies. Things get nuts when they slowly realize that this is in fact the worst and most unfunny movie that may exist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chairman of the Bored

“i need a comb my hair looks like shit like a port-o-jon at a dulcolax sponsored raspberry eating contest keep going big william you can make it a profession with this win this big one they will notice you with this under your huge belt”  
Dave’s eyes dart up to catch a glimpse of a red line-toothed object and smuppet launched by the driver of this totally bitchin moped. The vehicle swerves as Dave shifts his weight to grab the line-toothed object from the air. The smuppet would have come crashing down to the pavement, if it wasn’t for the show of courage and need of brotherly approval. Road rash and asphalt would have covered the boy, in another universe, if they weren’t currently parked, waiting for someone to answer the door or notice them there. From the ground, a thumbs up can be made out from the silhouette surrounded by the not as hot as Huston sun but is as hot as the Washington sun, Washington sun. Dave gets up and brushes off the dirt off his shirt, he observes the house and yard. A normal house with a norma- That is a tire swing. Demons begin to swell as the feeling of freedom that is associated with tire swings come flooding in. Thoughts of enjoyment are met with thoughts of silliness, and silliness won the war over Dave’s mind.

 

His eyes scan up the normal house to the second floor window. Dave sees a boy looking out, waving and smiling like a big idiot. He rushes out of sight and before long, the door opens. The window boy shows up to the door, holding a can.  
“dave! you look so cool man! not in an ironic way, in a cool anime sort of way.”  
“you look like a serious biologist nice shorts nicer knees”  
The boys begin to walk to the door, one last thumbs up and all of the 18 horses that power the bitchin’ moped roar to life. On one wheel, the scooter stops at the stop sign and after one legal second, speeds away, never losing that sick wheelie.  
“aright bro you don’t need to come to the door and meet the parents not at all leave me with strange people”  
“hey dave, want some peanuts?”  
“are you fucking stupid you are allergic to nuts thats one of your pranks”  
“no its not! hehehe its just some nuts my dad wanted me to give you as a welcome present.”  
“get those damn nuts out of my grill or else the snakes inside will be on the barbeque and put in an award winning dish of nutsnake”  
“lets drop off your stuff in my room and ill take you around while we wait for rose”  
Harlequins decorate the hollow halls, a picture of what could be an obscene abstracted pornographic image, but is more likely to fit the theme of the home is the centerpiece of the stairs. Another jester picture is at the top of the stairs along with a vague Michel Cera in one of those eyebrow nose glasses that John most likely has a ton of and thinks are so funny. He should try shades sometimes. A poster of an old man in a suit and fedora is mugging towards the hallway, John lets out a chuckle and waves at him slightly.

 

John starts to skip into his room but catches himself, ‘not in front of dave dude’.  
“wow the shitty movie posters are not false”  
“shitty?? These are some great movies!”  
“are you telling me that everytime you talk to your friends travolta and cage are staring at you facing off  
guns only to be outnumbered by pidgins in that flick  
switching faces wasn’t as explored as it should have been they should have tried to get the other the most traffic tickets and sent the other ones bitch ass in debt and up to the neck in legal matters”  
“they did a pretty good job of that! nic cage getting back his identity and family makes for a great movie.”  
“nic cage getting his family back sounds like a great movie if they only made that where he is a convict”  
“they did dave, it’s called the best movie ever. only playing, its called con air”  
“i know egbert you love it so much that you are going to marry it and make tiny poe children”  
“ew dave. :(“

 

Dave began to unpack. Three pairs of pointy anime shades, check. One of those so cool real cool smuppets, check but no one will ever see it because it’s too cool to show others, they can always check Bro’s website but there is no reason to. Music player with those down home dirty southern boy beats, one fat big check, and laptop, check. Pester chum is lit up with those stupid role players. They need to pick up a new hobby other than poorly attempting to troll these kids.  
“what are we going to do today”  
“when rose comes we will watch a movie. You both said since we are having our friendaversy here i get to choose the movie.”  
“are we going to watch one of these maconihy movies please he is the best actor all other choices would be moot and render the night pointless since he is the best choice ever”  
“no, we are going to be watching a movie one of those trolls talked about.”  
“not those weird shitty brainless people”  
“i thought the same until they sent me a poster of the movie, its going to be so funny we will all cry laughing.”  
“i am in need of a great weep and a hardy laugh  
i know rose is coming, but is jade in her weird i think island coming  
its probably in north Dakota and she is just a bored girl who wants all up ons me and hates traveling”  
“she said to video chat with her when rose gets here, right now she is asleep but knowing her she will wake up just in time.”  
“of damn course good to know nap-kun is still slaying it let me see the poster of this movie”  
Dave’s eyes narrow behind the tinted glass. He is on a board, he is the chairman of the board. Carrot Top in Chairman of the Board. He doesn’t know what he expected, the tooth fairy? This is going to be a long day.


End file.
